Pieces of Jake and Peyton
by lenfaz
Summary: Jake and Peyton trilogy. The thoughts of both before him coming back and the outcome of it.
1. Default Chapter

Fic title: Minutes

Author: Lena

Background: Part 1 of a trilogy. Jake and Peyton's feelings before he comes back

Rated: R

Dedicated to: Sam and Mara for the inspiration. All the J/P lovers in the world

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, Bryan's scruff nor anything related. sighs I don't own the amazing song "Minutos" by Ricardo Arjona either, but I do love it.

Author's note: This fic is full of angst. It's hard to write this while knowing that he came back and that they hugged (yeay!). But I needed to set the pace before "Come Undone", to give my own version of why he decided to come back. And this is the only thing that came to my mind. I hope you all like it.

All comments are

_El reloj de pared  
Anunciando las 6:23  
El pasado con sed  
Y el presente es un atleta sin pies  
Y ya son las 6:43  
Y el cadáver del minuto que paso  
Me dice que así se vive aquí te guste o no  
Y la nostalgia pone casa en mi cabeza  
Y dan las 6 con 50_

_The clock on the wall_

_Announcing 6.23_

_The past is thirsty_

_And the present is a feetless athlete_

_And it's 6.43 already_

_And the corpse of the minute that passed by_

_Tells me that this is how you live here whether you like it or not_

_And the nostalgia makes home in my head_

_And it's 6.50_

Jake sighed deeply as he got out of bed on that grey day. Every day was grey and it has been like that for the past months. Ever since he'd gotten in Savannah, nothing had color anymore. All shades of grey.

He went to the cradle and caressed the hair of his little girl, the only joy he had these days, and sighed deeply.

Jenny's eyes looked at him, portraying the same sadness he had in his…

"I know, baby" he said kissing his daughter's head "I miss her too."

He logged into his computer and saw his inbox. All her emails, all her words, all the silent pleas he could read between the lines. But he was hopeless… there was no hope.

He could not come back, he was scared and frightened.

And by now, he knew that certainly she'd lost hope in him too… his silent was the weapon he knew was hurting her each day. But there was nothing he could do for her now. As there was nothing he could do for him.

--

The dark that goes deeper in the night the moment before the sunrise awakes was the shelter where Peyton unleashed her lost dreams.

_Quien te dijo que yo  
Era el sueño que soñaste una vez  
Quien dijo que tu  
voltearias mi futuro al revés_

_Who told you that I_

_Was the dream you once dreamed_

_Who told that you_

_Would turn my future upside down_

Dreams that she once had and that were crashed by the harsh reality. Dreams that tried to remain in her illusions of a better future someday, of a word that would bring light into her dark days, into her soul that everyday was turning more a more into a grey and cold place, like a cave made of a stone that was wasted and engraved in loneliness.

But those dreams had crashed too against the silent that condemned her to a world where nothing made sense anymore. To a hopeless despair, to a soul torn into a million pieces, to loneliness.

_Y ya son las 7:16  
Y el cadáver del minuto que paso  
Me dice tu estrategia te arruino  
No queda más que ir aprendiendo a vivir solo  
Si te quedan agallas_

_And it's 7.16 already_

_And the corpse of the minute that passed by_

_Tell me that your strategy ruined you_

_There's nothing left that learn to live alone_

_If you have guts left_

But she had no guts left. No will to try to live, to fight the temptations that would lead her to self destruction. Not without him.

As she left the spot where she'd been contemplating the dark night, her mind was haunted by the memories of happier times that were no longer there. But that remained in her walls, as a silent punishment for crimes she could not even figure out.

_La casa no es otra cosa  
Que un cementerio de historias  
Enterradas en fosas  
Que algunos llaman memoria_

_The house is nothing else_

_But a cemetery of stories_

_Buried in graves_

_That some call memories_

And the memories of him were haunting her more and more these days. By the minute.

---

Another day had passed by and the loneliness was cutting her deeper and deeper. Every single small thing was accumulating within her, making the minutes longer and more hurtful every day. With every lack of messages, her heart broke a little more. And the pain grew more and more, making her cry tears that were drying her soul of joy and happiness.

_Minutos  
Como sal en la herida  
Se me pasa la vida  
Gastando el reloj_

_Minutes_

_Like salt in the wound_

_Life passes me by_

_Wasting the clock_

_Minutos  
Son la morgue del tiempo  
Cadáveres de momentos  
Que no vuelven jamás  
No hay reloj que de vuelta hacia atrás_

_Minutes_

_They are the morgue of time_

_Corpses of moments_

_That would never come back_

_There's no clock that turns backwards_

The long days that seemed to never end and only fade into this constant routine. Words, gestures, classes, life was done by inertia because his heart was dry. He did not want to feel anymore, because all there was left was the pain of wasting time away from her. Away from being able to caress that mass of curls he loved so much, away from that smile that could light an entire room. Away from the sound of her tender voice.

_Como duele gastar  
El instante en el que tu ya no estas  
Como cuesta luchar  
Con las cosas que no vuelven más_

_How it hurts to spend_

_The moment when you're no longer here_

_How it costs to fight_

_With the things that won't come back_

He laid in bed one more time, his mind traveling to her, his body aching for the lack of her nearness. The minutes making tic tac inside his head as one by one were dying, and his hopes were dying a little more with each one passing by. He closed his eyes trying to bring back that one small, ephemeral kiss. That brief moment when her lips touched his and he was alive again…

But it was only a memory, and the lack of the real thing ached in his soul like nothing ever did before.

_Ya son las 9:23  
Y el cadáver del minuto que paso  
Se burla de mis ganas de besar  
La foto que dejaste puesta en el bureau  
Mi soledad es tu venganza_

_And it's 9.23 already_

_And the corpse of the minute that passed by_

_It's making fun of my desire to kiss_

_The picture you left on the desk_

_My loneliness is your revenge_

She lied in bed, staring at the wall where his drawing was, remembering that one kiss. The one moment where she felt complete, at ease, safe. And how everything was taken away from her.

She sank her face into her pillow, crying the lonely tears that she cried each night. The burden of her life without him hurting her, the memories of happier times no longer able to ease the pain. Not anymore.

_El ministerio del tiempo  
Puso sede en mi almohada  
Ahí te encuentro a momentos  
Aunque no sirve de nada_

_The ministry of time_

_It's stationed in my pillow_

_There I found you from time to time_

_Although it's worthless_

His memory was no longer able to save her. And she was doomed. Forever. There was no coming back.

_Minutos que se burlan de mí  
Minutos como furia del mar  
Minutos pasajeros de un tren que no va a ningún lugar  
Minutos como lluvia de sal  
Minutos como fuego en la piel  
Minutos forasteros que vienen y se van sin decir  
Minutos que me duelen sin ti  
Minutos que no pagan pensión  
Minutos que al morir formarán el batallón del ayer  
Minutos que se roban la luz  
Minutos que me oxidan la fe  
Minutos inquilinos del tiempo mientras puedan durar  
Minutos que disfrutan morir  
Minutos que no tienen lugar  
Minutos que se estrellan en mi son Kamikazes de Dios._

_Minutes that make fun of me_

_Minutes like the rage of the sea_

_Minutes like passengers of a train with destination nowhere_

_Minutes like rain of salt_

_Minutes like fire on the skin_

_Minutes like strangers that come and go without saying a word_

_Minutes that hurt without you_

_Minutes that don't pay alimony_

_Minutes that when die would form yesterday's battalion_

_Minutes that steal the light_

_Minutes that rust my faith_

_Minutes tenants of time as long as they can last_

_Minutes that enjoy dying_

_Minutes that have no place_

_Minutes that crash in me they're God's Kamikazes_

One last silent plea woke him up. One last memory had haunted him in his dreams. And the fear that this one had brought paralyzed Jake for a second until his soul was able to see what his eyes had denied him before. This fear would upbeat any other he might have felt….

Because now, he could sense it. Louder than anything else, louder than any rational reasoning, was this one intuition set in him: she was in danger.

He needed to come back. He needed her.


	2. Come Undone

Fic title: Come undone

Author: Lena

Email: Jake and Peyton

Background info: this is some sort of deleted/extended scene from last episode. I haven't seen S2 yet, b/c is not in Argentina, so I'm based in what I read in different recaps (thanking Denises and Co. in here).

Dedicated to: Denise 1, Denise 3, all the JP shippers all over the world, Critta, my little sister, and of course, the girls at TWC.

Rated: R. Some language and tough scenes would be included

Thanks D3 for the beta!

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, its characters and nothing in the line. Of course, I don't own the lyrics of "Come undone" by Robbie Williams, "Ordinary World" from Duran Duran or "Llueve sobre mojado" by J. Sabina and Fito Páez. Right now, I only own the cloud I'm walking on and the view of the rain over my Buenos Aires.

A/N: In terms of translation, "Llueve sobre mojado" has its equivalent in the English "When it rains, it pours". And Tuesday 13 is the same as Friday 13, a day of bad luck.

**Come undone **

_Hay una lagrima en el fondo del río  
de los desesperados_

_(There's a tear at the bottom of the river_

_Of the desperate)_

Peyton looked at herself in the mirror of her room as she slowly tried to breathe, but she could not breathe anymore… she was no longer able to feel anything good- to feel happy, relieved.

Lucas had just left. He could not understand either. She did not want his pity. She never did. And that was all he had for her. It was all he'd had for her for a while now. She knew… she'd always known that it was a mix of pity and condescendence that had driven him to her the year before. That connection they thought was there was built more on the need of another than the real thing. He never needed her… he needed redemption in her. But that only led to more loneliness.

_Dormir contigo es estar solo dos veces  
es la soledad al cuadrado,  
todos los sábados son martes y trece,  
todo el año llueve sobre mojado._

_(Sleep with you is being alone twice_

_It's loneliness at the square_

_Every Saturday is Tuesday and thirteen_

_All year long when it rains, it pours_)

And that loneliness, her overwhelming loneliness, that led her to many mistakes. To betray someone that had been there for her; to hurt the one person, that even if had not been perfect, had always been there for her. That was the mistake she'd still carry the guilt for, regardless the façade she'd built around.

_Llueve sobre mojado.  
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla,  
sueños equivocados,  
Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla,  
llueve sobre mojado._

_(When it rains, it pours,_

_Bla, bla, bla, bla_

_Mistaken dreams, _

_Bla bla bla_

_When it rains, it pours)_

_  
Y después de llover,  
Un relámpago va  
deshaciendo la oscuridad  
con besos, que antes de nacer,  
morirán._

_(And after the rain_

_A lightening_

_Is undoing the darkness_

_With kisses that before being born_

_Are going to die)_

Loneliness had made her stay with him for so long, despite the fact that there was a mess of drama and fights. At least, she knew who she was when she was with him. She was the trophy girlfriend, the one people envied and pitied at the same time. She had the drama, the fights, the games, the reconciliations. She had that boyfriend that was the most popular jock in the school, the one she could not recognize anymore, and the one that had changed 180 degrees and was a caring, loving person.

But not with her. Of course it was not with her… like she ever needed proof to know that she was never going to be the one to make a change. The one to be first on someone's list… None of what she'd had had been real.

Except for one thing. For one person. The one that no longer was there. He was out of reach. She'd written to him. She'd pleaded in her mind, making deals with a God she did not believe in, only for one word from him. Just one simple reply to her, to let her know that he was there…

But he was not.

_I'm contemplating thinking about thinking  
It's overrated just get another drink and  
Watch me come undone_

She reached for the bottle next to her, deciding to drown her mind in alcohol. To numb her loneliness as her mind drifted away to that one white line. It was so easy. All she needed was that and everything would be forgotten.

She knew it was wrong…. But he was not there.

_Y, al final, sale un sol  
incapaz de curar  
las heridas de la ciudad,  
Y se acostumbra el corazón  
a olvidar._

_(And in the end, comes a sun_

_Unable to heal_

_The wounds of the city,_

_And the heart gets used to_

_Forget)_

And she just wanted to forget it all… she wanted to forget about the pain, the guilt, the pity and the loneliness. She wanted to forget the brown eyes that haunted her in her dreams. She wanted to forget his smile, his tender voice.

Because he was no longer there… he had forgotten about her. And she couldn't forget about him.

She needed something to forget, so she dialed the phone and asked for it. It was bad, but it was going to ease the pain. And she needed to ease the pain.

_Came in from a rainy Thursday  
On the avenue  
Thought I heard you talking softly_

His voice was refusing to leave her. As she walked the streets, as she was there, standing, waiting for that one white line she needed, she wanted; his voice was not leaving her… "What are you doing with yourself, Peyton?" she could hear him asking her inside her mind. And she did not want to answer. "I'm trying to forget… I need to forget" she slowly whispered.

_I turned on the lights, the TV  
And the radio  
Still I can't escape the ghost of you  
What has happened to it all?  
Crazy, some are saying  
Where is the life that I recognize?  
Gone away _

"I can't do this anymore… I cannot take this anymore. I need the pain to go away. I need to stop feeling like my life is going down. I wanna be numb. I don't want to feel anymore" she went on, speaking to herself as she was talking to him… her mind filled with a thousand lyrics that refused to let go. The ones that had been locked in the dungeons of her mind and that were unlocking themselves at the same time. The ones that were driving her crazy, the ones that pushed her further and further on the edge, and the ones he used to silence just with his smile._  
_

_Where is my friend when I need you most?  
Gone away_

"Where are you?" she asked, her heart broken, her mind destroy "I need you, Jake"

Rick approached her and fixed her with the one thing she wanted now… and then her eyes played a bad joke on her. It had to be a bad joke...

"Do you know this guy?" he asked

"Jake…" she whispered softly

He was standing there, his eyes in anger and pain, reading her the way only he could do. And she just froze… she could not move, she could not talk…

She could not do a simple thing… because he was there.

Jake slowly moved to where she was and grabbed her hand.

"We're leaving," he said shortly.

"We're in the middle of something," replied Rick.

"Not happening," Jake talked to him with a strong tone and a fiercely stare. "Don't try to stop us, because you don't know what I'm capable of doing…"

Rick backed out and Jake pulled Peyton out of there, as he walked to her car and opened it. Peyton sat on the passenger seat, her mind collapsed now.

"Keys," ordered Jake.

"Jake…" she whispered.

"You're drunk, Peyton. Give me the keys," he replied shortly and she gave them to him. Jake started the car and drove directly to her house, without saying a word. And Peyton did not know what to say either. She'd seen his eyes and she knew what he was thinking. And he was right… she was gone. And he was disappointed in her.

He parked the car in the front of her house and got out of it. He opened the passenger door and pulled her away from the car as he grabbed her arm and made her enter the house…

"Jake… you're hurting me," she tried to say.

Jake could not bare to keep silent anymore.

"What the fuck are you doing Peyton?" he yelled at her, standing in the hall of her house, as she started to cry.

"Jake it's not…"

"Don't even think about it! I know exactly what you were doing in there… don't make excuses," he replied. "How could you do it? Why?"

His eyes were hurting, he was hurting and Peyton could not take it… not pity or anger. Not from him.

_They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street  
I pray that when I'm coming down you'll be asleep  
If I ever hurt you your revenge will be so sweet  
Because I'm scum_

"Why?" The words started to burst out of her mouth, "You don't have the right to ask me that… you left, Jake. You left me here, on my own. And I know that you had to. But it did not ease the pain. And you never wrote…. Not even one word" the tears in her eyes broke Jake's heart.

"Peyton…"

"Don't," she pleaded, "I wrote to you. And you never wrote me back. I needed you here, or at least I needed to know that you still cared. But you never showed you cared… ever. My life went down and you were not here. I needed to stop feeling, to stop missing you. And this makes me stop feeling…"

"I don't want you to stop feeling, Peyton."

"Why? You don't even care."

"You think I don't care? You think this was easy on me? You think I don't lie in my bed thinking about you every single minute of every single day? I miss you more than you can imagine, Peyton," he replied, his eyes starting to fill with tears. "I could not write to you because it was too painful not to be able to say all the things I wanted to say…"

"What things?" she asked, her tears almost matching his.

"That without you nothing made sense- that without you, my days were all different shades of grey. No brightness, no smiles, no laughs. That I miss your laugh, your curly hair, your voice…"

Peyton collapsed in her couch, crying "Jake, I'm so lost…"

He sat next to her, his arm in her shoulders "I know…"

"How?"

"I read it in your emails… I felt it… somehow, yesterday, I felt like you needed me. And I just knew that I had to come back… I'm here," he replied as his hand went to her face and made her look at him. "Peyton," he whispered, his eyes filled with tears.

And then he leaned in and kissed her. His lips pressed on hers with strength but tenderness at the same time as she put her arms around his neck and she pulled herself to him. She did not know how long he was going to be there… but she did not want this opportunity to slip away.

He was the only one that could take her pain away. His arms were the only shelter where she could find peace.

Jake moved slowly to kiss her neck, making her moan softly between her tears, as her hands caressed his back and she lay on her couch with him on top. Feeling him, kissing him, she started to undo his shirt and he took her clothes off.

"I need you," she whispered in his ear before letting go of everything she had in her mind so she was just there, with him.

As the night went by, Peyton woke up and found him there, contemplating her.

"Jake," she said but he silenced her with a kiss.

"No, Jake, listen to me," she said. "I need to know, when are you…" her eyes filled with tears as she could not end that sentence.

"Never," he replied, taking a strand of her curly hair and putting it behind her ear. "I'm never leaving again… I'm not leaving you."

Her eyes looked at him between tears and joy "Jake… you're really back," she said.

"Yes…" he said kissing her softly, "And it's not because you need me… it's because I need you."


	3. I need you

Fic title: I need you

Author: Lena

Background: Sequel to Come Undone… Jake and Peyton's feelings after he came back

Rated: R

Dedicated to: Mara for the inspiration her replies always bring to me. Sam, for all the kind words. All the J/P lovers in the world

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, Bryan's scruff nor anything related. sighs I don't own the amazing song "Te necesito" by Amaral and La Ley either, but I do love it, especially cause Beto Cuevas has an incredible voice.

Author's note: I wanted to write this fic before the show started again tonight… Simply because I set a pace for it with Come Undone and Minutes and regardless what the show is gonna do, this is how my mind saw it during the entire hiatus.

**I need you**

The shadows hunted her one more time in her dreams as she restlessly turned around and woke up abruptly, scared.

But before she could open her eyes, she felt a hand in her shoulder, an arm that was wrapping her and pulling her into a chest, and her mind instantly felt at ease.

"Shhh I'm here, Peyton" Jake said, caressing her curly hair as he rocked her and pulled her tightly to him. It had been like that all night: he guarding her sleep while Peyton woke up from time to time in frighten.

"I dreamt it had all been a dream. That you were not here…" she replied as she sought comfort in his chest and her hand caressed the fabric of his shirt.

"It's not, I'm here…"

"Don't leave, Jake. Not again… I cannot take it" she begged

His hand softly grabbed her chin and lifted it up until her eyes encountered his and he looked at her deeply

"I won't" he said before kissing her lips with passion and tenderness at the same time and Peyton lost herself in that one person she had needed all those lonely nights

_Oh, cómo quieres que me aclare  
Si aún soy demasiado joven  
Para entender lo que siento  
Pero no para jurarle al mismísimo ángel negro  
Que si rompe la distancia que ahora mismo nos separa  
Volveré para adorarle, le daría hasta mi alma  
Si trajera tu presencia a esta noche que no acaba_

_How do you want me to make myself clear_

_If I'm still too young_

_To understand how I feel_

_But not to swear to the Dark Angel itself_

_That if he breaks the distance that have us now apart_

_I'll come back to worship him, I'll give him even my soul_

_If he brings your presence to this night that never ends_

He was here now… next to her. The only one that could save her, because he had been the only one that had been able to really see her. As they broke the kiss, Peyton caressed his face, tracing with her fingers all the features, noticing the little marks that nights in wake and pain had left in him… so young, and yet so mature…

"You've been having troubles sleeping, Jake…" she said

He sighed deeply as he laid down in her bed and she laid down next to him, her head in his shoulder, her fingers still caressing his face.

"Yeah, Jenny kept crying… I think she missed you a lot"

"I missed her too… I'm sorry it was so hard on you" she replied

"That was not the main reason of my insomnia" he continued, "You were, Peyton. Wanting to reach out for you and not being able to, that was the pain that had me sleepless. I felt so helpless cause I knew you needed me as much as I needed you and I felt so devastated. I just lied there, in my bed, watching the ceiling, thinking about you, feeling guilty for not replying to you and wondering how much longer this pain was going to last…" he sighed deeply "And then I would just close my eyes and think about you. Like that night in the Café, when I took Jenny for the first time. You came to me and it was as if I was seeing you for the first time, your eyes so full with pain but light at the same time… I guess that I could let myself look at you cause Lucas was with Brooke, so I could allow myself to really see you. I couldn't before because you could not be in my mind, I couldn't just do that to myself, nor Lucas. But when part of him let you go… I felt that I could see you without feeling guilty about it. Then you started to be a part of my life, and Jenny's. You filled my days with joy, Peyton, you made me feel like I could fall for someone again after everything that had happened to me. That maybe there was a second chance for me. And then it all went down the drain… life threw curve ball on us before there was even time for us to become us, you know? And I had to left the only person that matter to me after Jenny. But the memory of you never left me, Peyton. As much as I tried… you were always on my mind. And it killed me not to be with you…"

_Como quieres que te olvide  
Si tu nombre está en el aire  
Y sopla entre mis recuerdos  
Si ya sé que no eres libre,  
Si ya sé que yo no debo  
Retenerte en mi memoria  
Así es como yo contemplo  
Mi tormenta de tormento,  
Así es como yo te quiero_

_How you want me to forget you_

_If your name is in the air_

_And blows between my memories_

_If I know that you're not free_

_If I know that I should not_

_Keep you in my memory_

_That is how I contemplate_

_My storm of torment_

_That is how I want you_

A tear ran down his cheek and Peyton softly kissed the spot where it was running "I thought you've forgotten about me, I thought you did not care… I never thought…" she trailed off… Jake turned to face her as he grabbed her face between his hands.

"Not for a minute, Peyton. You were there all the time, until it was impossible to deny that my life without you was not complete, was not even near to be complete. That I had to come back and fight in here, next to you..."

"Jake, I've been so lost. I've never let myself to admit it, but you were the anchor that got me together last year. And when you left, everything lost sense. Without you here, nothing really mattered and everything hurt at the same time…"

"I'm so sorry, Peyton… I should have been here. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how much I needed you" he said holding her in his arms.

"I need you too, Jake" she whispered softly in his ear, as the peace that the nearness of him brought was invading her and she was losing herself in his embrace and he was doing the same.

_Te necesito como a la luz del sol  
En este invierno frío  
Pa' darme tu calor_

_I need you like I need the sunlight_

_In this cold winter_

_To give me your warmth_

_Te necesito como a la luz del sol  
Tus ojos el abismo  
Donde muere mi razón_

_I need you like I need the sunlight_

_Your eyes the abyss_

_Where my reason dies_

And then there was nothing by silence, as they both fell asleep in each other's arms. Peacefully.

All comments are welcome.


End file.
